Seeing Others’ Humanity Builds Our Capacity as Leaders

Welcome back and congratulations on a new school year! I hope your summer had the right mix of professional learning, planning, and relaxation. While the summer months are a busy time for us at the NYC Leadership Academy, as we support school and system leaders with their learning and planning, I managed to carve out some time to read and reflect with my staff book group. We read (and in some cases re-read) Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute and I wanted to share some of our take-aways with you.

The messages in this book are simple yet profound: To be effective leaders, we must see the humanity in every person. We need to reflect on how we at times subconsciously put down others in order to justify and cover up our own lack of willingness to act and work harder and, really, to make ourselves feel better. This book continues to reinforce the message that by becoming more aware of how our interpersonal interactions impact others—whether in our personal lives or in our leadership roles — we can hold ourselves accountable and free ourselves to have more authentic and meaningful interactions and relationships.

When adults consider how challenges in the school are within their own power to change and are not the fault of students, parents and the community, real movement toward dismantling inequities can begin. My 8th grade teacher, Mr. Lovelace, did that for me – rather than take as fact other teachers’ complaints about my “troublemaking” ways, he sought to truly see me and all my potential and focused on how he could support me.

While he could have easily given up on me, he built a strong relationship with me and went above and beyond in his teaching to engage me with interesting writing opportunities. He unequivocally changed my life.

As we all begin a new school year, I challenge teachers, school leaders, and district leaders to join me in understanding the self-deception we are all, as humans, guilty of. Read the book, discuss it with colleagues, read it again. Acts of self-deception are especially dangerous when they impact the behaviors of leaders because of the power we hold. As leaders, we must continuously examine how our behavior impacts those around us.

Finally, as the authors encourage in the book, we urge you to see the whole person in front of you, whether a child or an adult, and to honor their humanity. Rather than seeing each adult as an object that is there simply to help forward your collective mission, focus on really seeing and deeply engaging each individual. Be willing to dig deeper and give more of yourself. The changes you make will be liberating for yourself and your team.